The Christmastime Blues

If you ever get to Plymouth for a meeting or for worship and you spy your associate minister sitting in his little Honda staring straight forward with a serious look on his face, don’t worry! It is perfectly normal. It just means that I am having what is called an “NPR moment” or a “driveway moment.” That is just my listening face.
 
A “driveway moment” is defined by Urban Dictionary (an authority in such matters) as:
“The inability to leave one's car after arriving at the destination because of the riveting nature of a story you're listening to on the radio; especially on NPR. I had a driveway moment today while listening to David Sedaris on This American Life.”
 
This happens frequently, in fact, I had an NPR moment just the other day. When I arrived at the church, NPR was in the middle of an interview with a progressive young Country Western singer named Kacey Musgraves (no relation to our former Congressperson). NPR described how has just released an unconventional Christmas album including such songs as, “Christmas Makes me Cry.” Then they played the song and the following lyrics that must ring true to countless in our world and even some in our congregation:

Kacey Musgrave is speaking to the true experience that so many keep hidden. I know as your minister for pastoral care that this is a Season in popular culture and of the Church that evokes EVERY emotion: peace on earth, hope, peace, joy, love, family, celebration… and it also brings many to their knees in tears, regret, loss, inadequacy ("I cannot bake good cookies," for example), bereavement, and especially loneliness. That last one is chronic in our society and goes unnoticed or ignored way too often. While some have memories growing up of Christmas meaning warm cookies, grandparents, and many gifts under a big tree. Many others remember empty hearts and homes and family dysfunction.  
 
Like every season, it carries with it a lot of cultural expectation, but Christmas more than any other holiday has rituals and images and expectations that are nearly impossible to meet even for the most ambitious and whole individual.
 
I am writing about this not to take the joy out of the season, but I want to offer the support of the church to anyone in need of support in this complicated and expectation-filled time. It is alright if “Christmas Makes you Cry.” You are not alone. Your Plymouth community is here for you. Your clergy are here for you (Jake, Jane Anne or Hal) for conversation, prayer, and to connect with you with new memories and friends.  
 
Let us all make new Christmas memories together as a family of faith. Let us support each other and meet everyone where they are in joy or sorrow in this season of family, faith, and memory.

​Jake

Christmas Makes Me Cry
 
It's all red and gold and Nat King Cole and tinsel on the tree
It's all twinkle lights and snowy nights and kids still believe
And I know that they say, "Have a happy holiday"
And every year, I sincerely try
Oh, but Christmas, it always makes me cry
 
It's the ones we miss, no one to kiss under the mistletoe
Another year gone by, just one more that I, I couldn't make it home
And I know that they say, "Have a happy holiday"
And every year, I swear I sincerely try
Oh, but Christmas, it always makes me cry
Always
 
Seems like everybody else is having fun
I wonder if I'm the only one
Who's broken heart still has broken parts just wrapped in pretty paper
And it's always sad seeing mom and dad getting a little grayer
And they always say, "Have a happy holiday"
And every year, I sincerely try
Oh, but Christmas, it always makes me cry.
(Kacey Musgrace, “Christmas Makes me Cry,” 2016)

Author

The Rev. Jake Miles Joseph ("just Jake"), Associate Minister, Clergy & Staffcame to Plymouth in 2014 having served in the national setting of the UCC on the board of Justice & Witness Ministries, the Coalition for LGBT Concerns, and the Chairperson of the Council for Youth and Young Adult Ministries (CYYAM). Jake has a passion for ecumenical work and has worked in a wide variety of churches and traditions. Read more about him on our staff page.